In Her Absence
by Neo the Saiyan angel
Summary: Kim is attending school in Japan, Ron is training at Yamanouchi to learn how to control his Mystical Monkey Power, and Shego is on vacation, leaving Drakken to get things back in order. Unfortunately, he didn't count on tanuki breaking into his lair...R
1. Life, Love, and Lorwardians

Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, or any of the other characters from Kim Possible, nor do I own the television show Kim Possible.

I. Life, Love, and Lorwardians

It had been a little more than two months since the Lorwardian invasion had concluded. Kim and Ron had used it for some rest and relaxation, comforted by the fact that everything around the world was, for now, under control. The aliens had done some heavy damage all over the planet and everyone had pitched in to help, even the villains. The Seniors had contributed a good chunk of their fortune to helping with the economic crises, as had several of their buddies at their poker club ("It's the sporting thing to do," Señor Senior, Sr. had said. "Besides, it looks good for taxes."). Dementor and Dr. Drakken had built some robots together to help clean up the destruction and had a few 'scuffles' while planning and building them (Kim still doesn't know how GJ had kept the damage to a minimum). Even Gemini contributed some of his resources to helping rebuild, but after the first meeting of the leaders of Global Justice and the Worldwide Evil Empire (which is now referred to as the 'staple incident' by those who had been there), both organizations made sure that their leaders stayed far away from each other. Now, however, things were getting back to normal for everyone. Countries were starting to argue over the use of the technology which had littered the landscape, regular citizens went back to their everyday jobs, and villains started to do, well, villainous things. Frugal Lucre, an average Joe-looking guy who had a permanent geek aura, a talent for hacking computers, and an inability to know when to shut up, was the first to cause trouble by trying to steal the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer with a ray gun that appeared to have been made out of a toaster. After Rufus bit the power cord on the gun, Kim and Ron were able to take down the bargain seeking villain without a sweat. However, problems began to brew after they had gotten back to Middleton.

They had decided to go to their tree house as a way to reminisce about old times and discuss the future. Summer would be coming to a close and college was looming over the horizon. Kim had settled on the University of Tokyo, majoring in law, and passed all of the exams with flying colors. Her college costs were covered by various scholarships provided by grateful citizens whom she had helped in the past. Ron was planning on going to Yamanouchi to learn how to control the Mystical Monkey Power better. Kim had felt that this arrangement was superb. She would be able to see Ron and she would be going to an excellent school. They had planned on leaving for Japan the upcoming weekend so that they would have time to settle into their new living arrangements before things got started with their various responsibilities. So when Ron said, "We need to talk," she hadn't been concerned at all. When he had told her what was on his mind, however, her picture-perfect idea of their future came crashing down.

"What?" Kim mumbled, eyes watering. This can't be real. This was not right. She had to have misheard. "This is some sort of joke, right? Right? The tweebs put you up to it? It's not funny, Ron! Now knock it off and let's go to Bueno Nacho or something." Kim started to get up to leave, but was stopped by Ron's arm on her shoulder.

As Kim turned her head toward Ron, he shut his eyes and hung his head. "Kim, I'm serious. I can't keep doing this. WE can't keep doing this. This needs to happen. I've thought about it. A lot. I need to concentrate on my training and you need to concentrate on school. So I think that it would be better if we were to stop seeing each other for awhile."

"But…how…how can you say that?" spluttered Kim voice thick with the tears that were making their way down her face. "Can't we just…can't we just stop doing missions or something? There has got to be a compromise here. We can't just-"

"We can't just leave the world on its own, KP," Ron interrupted, his voice now wavering a bit, "and you won't be content with just sitting around studying. Being a hero is part of who you are."

"You're part of who I am, too," Kim replied, her voice breaking.

"Kim, I'll still be there for you," Ron said, seeming to have recovered from his bout of emotion. He lifted his head and looked Kim in the eye with glistening eyes, "but we both have obligations to take care of and traveling for hours at a time to see each other would take a serious bite out of both of our times. Besides, it might draw attention to Yamanouchi and that's something that I've already promised I wouldn't let happen. If things work out, maybe we can get back together, but for now, we just can't. Are we still friends?"

"Oh Ron," Kim choked out, "we'll always be friends." She wiped her eyes a bit and gave Ron a big hug. "How could I ever find someone else?"

Ron chuckled softly and replied, "Well, I have heard of these dating websites…" which earned him a small giggle from Kim.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" she said, releasing him from the hug and giving him a small smack on the shoulder. "You're a great boyfriend. How could I ever think about finding someone else when I know that you will be waiting for me?"

"Just think of it as a way to broaden your horizons. You never know; you could find someone even better than me. You deserve the best and it would make me feel bad to know that you stopped looking because of me. Please, just give it a try. You'll be in a whole new place with new people. I have friends like Yori to look out for me at Yamanouchi. And Sensei's the master of gin rummy. I won't be lonely, and neither should you," Ron told her. "Now, how about some snackage? I won't be able to enjoy the wonders of the naco for much longer, so I have to get them in while I can."

Kim nodded and they both got up from the beaten-up couch. As they climbed down the ladder to the tree house, Kim wondered how her world would be able to work now.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Near the summit of Mount Yōtei, a vehicle resembling a flying saucer was floating around, randomly stopping and accelerating as if looking for something. It eventually came to complete stop, a voice mumbling incoherently from the driver's seat. The face of the driver was covered by a map which had the words 'Secret Lair Locations' written in crayon across the top. A tuft of spiky black hair protruded from the top edge of the map as did a few flowering plant vines which swayed with the wind.

"Grrr…why did I have to have a lair in the middle of a mountain? And why did we pick this one as the meeting place?" a deep, raspy voice whined. "I mean, we have the lair in the Caribbean _and_ the one in Middleton. Heck, even the one in the Amazon is easier to find than this one. Blast Shego and her incessant demands!" The man threw the map into the waiting tendrils of a vine and revealed his blue face which was fixed into a deep scowl, eyes surrounded by large, dark circles. Underneath his left eye was a scar that stretched from near his small, hooked nose to the outer edge of his prominent cheekbone. He had a large chin, ears which stuck out, and a long, luscious black ponytail. He let loose a growl as his hovercraft continued to wander the mountain. "'It's the most secluded lair, Dr D. No one will find us here. We should stay out of the media's eye, Dr D. Lay low for awhile somewhere out of the way,'" he muttered in a nasally voice while waving his hands in the air and nodding his head up and down. "Bah! It's so secluded that even _I_ can't find it!"

After a little more than 10 minutes, he found a large metal door which was hidden in a crevice on the mountain. Sighing with relief at the discovery and shivering as he was hit with a cold blast of air, the man drove the hovercraft over to the side of the cliff where a device which looked like a retinal scanner stuck out of the rocks. After dusting off some layers of snow and cracking away the ice, he pulled his black lab gloves off and put the tips of his thumbs on the spots where most people would assume the eyes go. A bright light scanned the prints and a robotic voice said, "Voice verification required."

"Drakken. Doctor Drakken. Now let me in before I turn into a human popsicle with herbal flavorings!" the doctor practically yelled at the machine.

"Voice match confirmed. Welcome, Doctor Drakken." The metal doors slowly swung inward to reveal a large garage filled with dusty flying vehicles, including a helicopter and a green and black jet. The hover car flew in and settled down on a small platform. Doctor Drakken climbed out of the vehicle and did a few stretches, cracking his back in various places which caused him to groan painfully. The vines, which were protruding from the neck of his loose-fitting dark blue lab coat, also stretched. The one that had the map gave it back to Drakken who proceeded to tuck it into on of the numerous hidden pockets of his lab coat. Suddenly realizing how loose his coat was on his frame, the doctor gave a frustrated scream which echoed throughout the cavernous lair.

"Not only did I not get anything from helping those ungrateful nobodies at Global Justice, but I seem to have lost weight! I'll have to buy a whole new set of lab coats! Gee, thanks heightened plant mutagen metabolism. On the plus side, I might actually fit into a size 6 if this keeps up."

Drakken proceeded to the main section of the lair with the enormous television screen that had computer consoles linked up to it and expected Shego to be sitting in one of the chairs filing her nails while complaining about how boring it was just sitting and waiting for him to show up. Instead, the room was empty and a fine layer of dust on everything suggested that there had been no one there for quite some time. Grumbling about lazy assistants showing up late, he decided to clean the place a bit and make it inhabitable again. He went to one of the supply closets and grabbed numerous bottles of Breeze cleaning agent and some dusters and put the vines to work. After a few minutes of cleaning without incident, Drakken began to let his mind wander to the last couple of months. He allowed an evil smirk and a moment to think about how much fun it was to 'accidentally' break some of Dementor's things when they were stuck working together on those robots. Watching him go into one of his rages while Drakken claimed innocence and blamed the vines was superb. And there was no way for Dementor to prove that Drakken was the one doing it! However, it was still torture to have to spend nearly two months working with 'I'm-the-only-true-genius-here' chrome dome. Of course, Shego had decided that it was a waste of her time and had gone on vacation to someplace or another now that they had their records cleared. He remembered about the ceremony that had taken place at the UN a couple of months ago. The vine reaching out and grabbing Shego to force her into a hug with him was not something that he had planned on happening. '_Then again, I really didn't have much control over them, now did I?_' Drakken thought to himself. She wasn't angry like she usually would have been when it had happened, which was a slight relief. Her expression was one that he'd never really seen Shego use. It was a smile, but there was something weird about it. Had she been embarrassed? '_It would make sense_' Drakken thought. '_After all, it is pretty embarrassing to be hugged by your loser boss in front of all of our peers and some other random people._' Drakken let loose a sigh and allowed his shoulders to sag, which caused the bottom of his coat to scrape against the floor. Under all of his bravado and self promoting ways, he did realize how others thought of him, and that was the same even with him having saved the world. They just said that one person can only fail so much and he just happened to succeed on something important; he would never be able to reproduce similar results. Global Justice was already working on a way to subdue his plants should he try to take over the world with them. They'd never had to do anything like that with any of his other projects. Not even the 'Little Diablos', his greatest plot ever, warranted such attention. Thinking back to all of his former experiments and world conquest attempts just made him all the more depressed. Looking up, he saw all of the vines had stopped dusting and were pointing their flowers at him, which is what he figured was their way of looking at someone.

"What's wrong? A guy can't think around here?" he muttered angrily at the mutant plants. The vines took a few glances at each other and then proceeded to give Drakken a group hug. "What the-" They started to tighten their grip on him in an attempt to make him feel better. "Well, at least you guys appreciate…me…!" he gasped the last part. "I…can't breathe… Guys...?"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Will Du sighed and rubbed his temples. How had he gotten stuck with desk duty? He had realized that it was a bit irrational and unprofessional of him to shock the nearest person with his taser watch and then hide under a table when the Lorwardians started attacking, but what else could he do? There were no protocols that he knew of that covered an alien invasion. His superiors felt that he had acted inappropriately for some reason and had stuck him with desk duty until further notice. And now he was stuck updating the file on a villain wannabe when his incredible skills could be put to use taking care of the real bad guys. However, he would do his job to the best of his ability and went through the process as efficiently and quickly as he could.

"Name?" he asked the figure in the chair.

"Frugal Lucre!" said the cheapskate villain in the scariest voice he could manage, striking a pose as he replied, which only made Will raise one of his eyebrows as Lucre's fake moustache fell off.

Will sighed and continued. "Villain alias?"

"Say what?" Lucre said as he tried to put the moustache back on after he had scrambled to the floor to grab it.

"The name which you use while you are performing criminal acts," the GJ agent replied. He could already tell that this was going to be a long night.

"Oops. I gave a wrong answer. Can we go back? Will this be counted against me later?" Lucre began to ramble while wearing his moustache upside-down. After assuring Lucre that it would be just fine to correct everything and fixing the error, it had already been 20 minutes, five minutes more than it takes for him to process most criminals. Gritting his teeth slightly, Will continued down the list.

"What villainous activity was committed which warranted your arrest by Global Justice?" he asked.

"Well, I had just finished with helping to haggle for good deals on emergency supplies when-"

"Please, Mr. Lurman, just the act. Not the planning," the agent interrupted, his eye now twitching slightly.

"I tried to steal the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer!" Frugal Lucre replied with gusto, his moustache dangling dangerously from the corner of his mouth.

Will Du looked up from the paperwork, somehow appearing both interested and annoyed. "What would a…villain...such as yourself want with the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer?"

"Well, everyone else, including my idol, Doctor Drakken, wants it, so I figured that I should want it, too! Besides, I haven't seen it in Smarty Mart, so it must be one of those hard-to-stock items, and boy, do they up the price on those!" Lucre replied, nodding his head. Will then proceeded to plant his face on the top of his desk, wondering '_Why me?_' over and over while Lucre started to monologue on the reason he got into villainy.

--

Author's Notes:

If you're wondering why Kim and Ron didn't get an intro like Drakken did, I have 3 reasons: 1. They're the main characters of the show. If you don't know them, then you're S.O.L. 2. It's much easier for me to do an intro for Drakken than for Kim and Ron. 3. I felt that Drakken should get a nice, funny intro now since he's going to be having some troubles later.

Why do the scene with Will Du and Frugal Lucre? Why not? Will Du has to be doing SOMETHING, and he really doesn't work well under pressure, so I would think he would be stuck with desk duty after the Lorwardians came. Also, the paperwork for putting the villains in jail doesn't do itself. I thought it would be something funny and interesting to do with people that don't seem to be used much.

The story is going to be taking place mostly in Japan because it helps to keep all of the characters in one place and I won't have to write too much about Mr. and Mrs. Dr. P. The tweebs, however… evil grin Anyway, I figure that most of their other lairs are in shambles and it would be quite hard to destroy a mountain, so the lair from 'So the Drama' was used. The University of Tokyo is supposed to be a school for the elite, so Kim would fit in well there…sorta.

I would like to thank Supreme Distraction for taking a look at my story and helping me with the faults that were present and with the title. I wouldn't be able to come up with a decent title even if my life depended on it.


	2. Unpleasant Surprises

II. Unpleasant Surprises

After Drakken had his group moment with his mutant plants, they set about finishing their cleaning. A few hours later, there was barely a speck of dust that had escaped their reach. He had tried to start up the main computer with no luck and figured that the year had caused some components to fail or something like that. As he commanded the plants to go back into his body, he heard his stomach growling. It was well past suppertime and he was in major need of sustenance. Then again, since his plant mutations had made themselves more apparent, he'd found it hard to keep himself full. Grumbling about Shego still not being there, he went to the kitchen to search the cupboards. Shego had complained about having to travel too far to get her morning coffee with the other lairs, so he had this one built with their private kitchen near her bedroom, which had his bedroom farther down the hall (after all, fraternizing with the henchmen was beneath both of them).

He was an excellent cook, but since he usually only cooked for himself, no one besides him ever really knew that. That night, however, he decided to cook something for the both of them. Shego would probably be hungry after the long trip here, so he felt that he should have something good waiting for her to eat. He settled on coq au vin…and then it dawned on him that everything that he needed for that would have spoiled over the year. He cursed his luck and now decided to search for anything edible. Making a mental note to send Shego grocery shopping, he noticed that one of the cupboards was hanging open slightly. He was hoping that there would be some ramen or something that would have lasted for a year. But that hope was quickly dashed when he saw the mess hidden by the doors. He was surprised that he hadn't smelled it. Then Drakken realized that he hadn't smelled anything due to the fact that there was nothing left to smell. All of the food was gone and their packaging had been ripped to shreds. He checked all of the cupboards and found them all to be in similar condition. Not understanding how that could be so (and not realizing that all of the cupboards were connected and, as such, access to one gave access to all), the doctor began to wonder if the place was haunted.

He jumped suddenly as a loud crash echoed down the hall from where Shego's room was. His mind started racing with the different possibilities of what it could be. Eventually, reasoning that it was Shego's room the noise had come from since no one besides him would be able to get into his room, he decided that it had to be Shego. Nothing in the world was stupid enough to enter Shego's room and think it had a chance to survive. His fear melted away and was replaced by anger. What was she thinking, leaving the cupboards like this? It was like a disaster zone!

"Shego!" Drakken barked down the corridor. "Shego, come here and clean this mess up now!" He received no reply, so he figured that if he shouted louder that she would eventually respond. "SHEGO! I know you're there, so stop pretending that you can't hear me and get in here!" He heard something which sounded like it was coming from her room, so he started to relax. Then tensed up all over again when he heard a clicking noise. Shego did not make clicking noises. Whatever was coming down the hall was making clicking noises. Therefore, Shego was not coming down the hall. As the noise grew louder, Drakken began to panic. What if it was a robber? Or another super villain or hero come to stop him before he could get started? Or worse, _his mother_? Shaking at the thought, all he could do was stand there as whatever it was came into the light.

It was a small creature, with a fluffy, fur covered face that was patterned similar to the mask that Shego sometimes wears. Like a raccoon. Sort of. The face and fur were like a raccoon, but the body structure was wrong. It tickled at something in his memory, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The creature looked at Drakken with shrunken eyes and took another step forward, sniffing toward him. The click that the creature's claws made against the floor echoed through the room.

"Oh, uh…er…hello there, odd creature thing," Drakken said in a voice riddled with confusion. He put his hand to his chin, forgetting about the creature for a second. If that wasn't Shego, then where in the world was she? As he was contemplating what could have happened to his assistant, the animal turned around and started barking down the hall. Seeing the other half of its body which had been covered in shadow, Drakken finally remembered what it was.

"You're a tanuki!" he said, pleased with the fact that he knew it. He'd seen some of them in a few of his favorite shows. Shego kept calling them cartoons, but he would firmly reply that the correct term was 'anime'. It surprised him that she was unable to tell the difference between two completely different things. "So you're the one that made this mess, huh?" He was aware, thanks to his shows, that tanuki are very silly and mischievous creatures that love to play tricks on people. It came as no surprise that the raccoon-like creature would do something like this, just to get a rise out of him. He was roused from his thoughts by the sound of clicking. The tanuki that had shown up had turned around and was looking at Drakken. Then another one appeared next to it, also eyeing Drakken. Then another. And another. Eventually, there were eleven raccoon dogs lined up and looking at Drakken. They'd probably gotten trapped in here somehow and had eaten all of the food in the lair and then some. How in the world had they managed to get through the security system? Several sniffed at him from the distance they were and a few licked their jaws. That's when he noticed it; they were all emaciated. Almost complete skin and bones. Unfortunately, he hadn't brought any food with him to feed them with. A few started to advance on him and he then realized with a bit of horror that _he was made of meat_. He took a step back and the rest of the little group began to take steps forward. Tanuki were supposed to be good-hearted creatures. Even when they were starving, they wouldn't eat people…would they?

"Nice doggies?" Drakken said to them, holding his hands out in a placating manner. Two seconds later, the entire group leapt at the poor mad scientist, with mouths opened wide and claws spread.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Kim had tried to enjoy the night out with Ron, eating at Bueno Nacho and going to see a movie ('The Rage of the Brick' was now in theaters, with even more brick than its predecessors), but her heart just wasn't in it. Ron had noticed, but even losing his pants when he tried to leave the aisle they were sitting in to get refills had no effect. He felt bad that he was the reason that Kim was so upset, but he also knew that it was something that had to be done. Although everything that he had said was the truth, he hadn't mentioned the main reason that he had to let her go. After the battle with Warhok and Warmonga at the beach party was when it had started. He had gone to one of the port-a-potties that were stationed on the beach to go to the bathroom and ended up getting shoved by Junior, who was exiting one.

"Oops, I am sorry, little sidekick. I did not see your scrawny little body. Perhaps you should buff up a little?" he sneered at Ron. Ron heard giggling behind him and an annoyingly familiar voice.

"Junior, honey, I don't think that this loser would be able to take it. One go with a five pound weight would probably have him on the ground gasping for air," Bonnie laughed. She quickly wrapped her arms around one of Junior's beefy biceps and dragged him off before Ron could say anything. Gritting his teeth slightly, he came to the conclusion that it was a mistake to match those two up. Little Bon Bon was obviously rubbing off on the rich momma's boy. He was so busy thinking about that that he didn't realize that his hands were glowing blue. He grabbed the door for the bathroom with force, intending to just slam it against the neighboring toilet. Instead, the entire row of toilets went flying from the intense force which Ron had used on the one that he was about to enter. Looking at the mess (and smelling the stench and hearing the screams of people that had been using them at the time), Ron gave a sheepish grin to those that had seen it happen and started rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uh…my bad. Sorry, guys," Ron had said to everyone there. Not wanting to be around for people to ask questions, he went straight back to Kim, intending to get out of there quickly. He figured it was a one-time thing. Anger isn't an emotion that he deals with much, so it should have been an isolated incident. But then it happened again a few days later. And again. The times that it happened came closer and closer together and it eventually came to the point that it didn't matter how he was feeling. He'd come to the conclusion that he needed help with controlling his powers now. He wasn't able to do it on his own anymore. Contacting a super secret ninja school was hard, but luckily for Ron, he had the ability to project his consciousness to Sensei thanks to the powers which were now getting out of control. After talking with Master Sensei for a bit, it was decided that Ron would go to Yamanouchi around the time that Kim headed off to college. It had been a miracle that she hadn't noticed yet, but he didn't want to be separated from her when they would be separated for so long. Things just kept getting worse and worse. The scariest thing that had happened was a couple of days before, when he had taken his sister Hana to the park intending to push her on the swing. They'd been playing for a few minutes without any problems when he suddenly went full Mystical Monkey Power. He was barely able to stop himself from pushing her. Ron kept thinking back on it over the last few days. Hana, even with her ninja baby skills, could have gotten seriously injured had the transformation occurred a split second later. The images of what could have happened to his little sister started to haunt him.

He was glad that Kim hadn't seen him like that, but then she sprang the surprise news on him that she had decided to go to Japan for college so that they could be together. She'd arranged everything ahead of time to give him a big surprise. Kim probably figured that he was worrying over nothing with the MMP situation and thought that they could spend most of their time together. But Ron knew that it would take most of his time just to keep his power under control. So to keep her from finding out and possibly hurting her, he had broken up with her. Now they wouldn't see each other nearly as much as they used to. It was the best choice for everyone. But if that were the case, then why did it hurt so much?

Soon after the movie had finished, Kim was driving Ron back to his house. It was quiet the entire time. Kim wanted to say something, but was too afraid that she would start crying hysterically if she did. Ron was preoccupied with staring out the window. It was when they had arrived at Ron's house that Kim was able to find her voice.

"Ron?" she said as he was climbing out of the Sloth. Ron stopped right outside of the door and turned to face her. "Was it something I did? Please, just help me understand _why_. I'm certain that we could make a long-distance relationship work. I care about you so much…so much…" Kim's voice broke then and tears began to run down her face as they had earlier. Ron's heart and willpower started to break at that point. He went over to Kim's side, opened the door, and started to hug her.

"KP, I care about you, too. I-" he abruptly stopped when he saw his hands. His. Bright. Blue. Glowing. Hands. Which were around Kim. Which could crush her with little effort. Ron quickly let go of Kim and put his arms behind his back.

"Ron…?" Kim said hesitantly.

"Kim, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he sobbed, tears now running down his face. He turned and ran for his house and decided that he had to get to Yamanouchi soon. He couldn't wait until the end of the week. He couldn't see Kim again. If he did, he might not catch himself next time.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"GAAAAHH!" Drakken screamed as he ran down the hallways of the lair with his coat flapping wildly behind him. A few seconds passed and nearly a dozen raccoon dogs turned into the hallway and raced after him. Although they were starved, their desperation gave them the strength to pursue the doctor. Luckily for Drakken, his years of running away from collapsing buildings and exploding doomsday machines had conditioned him for running for his life. Being panicked and not thinking about where he was going, he eventually ended up running to the henchman's lounge, which was a dead end. He barely had enough time to shut the door before they were on it, scratching and pounding against it like their lives depended on getting in there. Drakken breathed a sigh of relief since he was safe for the time being and sat down at the round, gray table in the middle of the small room. Taking a look around, he noticed that the refrigerator and cupboards were, like the kitchen, empty with the food containers torn to shreds. The only thing left was a bag of coffee beans which had a tear in it and had spilt some of its contents on the counter. Considering the skeleton of what he was certain had been a tanuki that was sitting next to the bag, he was certain that although they were hungry, they wouldn't try to eat those if they could have him. The sound of breaking wood told him that his time was almost up.

"That is the LAST time that I try to make a lair feel more homey," Drakken muttered to himself. He usually had the doors made out of metal, but had decided to try to make this lair a bit more domestic and had opted for wooden doors in this section instead. He got up and started pacing to help himself think. How would he be able to get out of this? Drakken knew that if Shego arrived (he was starting to doubt that she would), she would stand there and laugh a bit before helping him. He hadn't grabbed any of his ray guns from his lab since he had just gotten here. Heck, he'd barely remembered to get the electricity going for the lights… Drakken was suddenly struck by an interesting idea. He looked up at the light to make sure it was one of the hanging ones and proceeded to position himself so that he was across the table facing the door. They had almost finished tearing through the door and he could see the maws of some of them trying to fit through the ever growing holes they were making with their claws. He called on his plants to come out of his sleeves and had them grab the light. A minute later, the bottom of the door was reduced to splinters as the tanuki broke through in their frenzy to feed. As they were coming around the table, Drakken had the vines pull him up as he tried to swing across the table. He managed to not only swing over the table, but he also was able to land on his feet and start running. He grinned and was about to open the door when he accidentally stepped on the front of his coat. Tripping, falling, and sliding on the floor, his head went through the splintered remains of the door as his left shoulder collided with the wall.

Drakken realized that he was done for. All of his years of trying to conquer the world and he would be taken down not by the law, but by a bunch of two feet tall woodland critters! He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth in anticipation of the pain. Several seconds passed. Drakken opened one eye, then the other. Where was the 'ouch'? The mad scientist slowly pushed himself back into the room and found the creatures incapacitated. While he had been scared stiff and stuck, his mutant plants were free and willing to protect themselves and their master. They were able to lasso up all of the animals before they could do anything and Drakken had them released out of the side entrance. By the time he had made it back to the main area, he was steaming mad. If it hadn't been for that accident with the plant potion, he might've been eaten! It was Shego's job to prevent things like this. Where was she? Tired of waiting, Drakken pulled out his cell phone and called Shego. After a couple of rings, she finally answered.

"What do you want?" she asked in an annoyed, I-don't-want-to-talk-to-you way.

"Shego, where are you? You were supposed to be at the lair in Japan HOURS ago!" Drakken yelled into the phone. On the other end, Shego was lounging by a pool in a two piece bikini and holding the phone away from her ear. Everyone in the general area gave her a look, but a quick glare from her made most of the curious onlookers go back to what they were doing.

"You don't check your e-mail very often, do ya?" she said. "If you had checked it in the last couple of weeks, you would have noticed that I sent you a message telling you that I was taking some time off. You know, like how my contract _says_ I can?"

"But…but Shego…there's taking over the world to consider!" Drakken said. "And what do you mean 'taking some time off'? You just had two _whole months_ off!"

"No, I was still on the clock then. Remember my contract? In the section covering vacation time? As long as I made myself available while _you _took _your_ vacation, then I was still to be paid," she said smugly.

"What are you talking about? We were both on break and you were most certainly NOT available to me the last two months," Drakken said, the volume of his voice and his temper rising.

"Now what are YOU talking about? I was just a phone call away, Dr. D," she replied. "It's not MY fault that you never called me." At this point, Shego held the phone away from her ears, knowing what was going to happen. A couple of seconds later, frustrated screaming came from the earpiece and was accompanied by the sound of things breaking. "Hey, hey, HEY! You'd better not be breaking any of my things!" she yelled into the phone. "Anyway, I've got-" she proceeds to check her nonexistent watch, forgetting for a second that he wasn't there to see her do that, "-oh, about 42 more vacation days, and I plan on using every single one of them going around the world to places that I couldn't visit when I had a record." She smirked a little and corrected herself. "Well, that I couldn't visit without getting chased by some Joe Schmoes that recognized me from my 'Wanted' posters." She then proceeded to add some heavy duty sarcasm to her speech. "Yeah, as much fun as it's been talking to you, I think that I'll get back to my vacation. Away from you. Ciao!" she said before hanging up on him.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Oh, poor Drakken. So innocent and naïve. But those are just some of the many things which make him so incredibly awesome.

Yeah, sorry about the angst. But I wanted a legitimate reason that they broke up, not the oh-so-random 'it's-not-working-out' stuff. It will get past this stuff in a little bit. But this has to be done for the story's sake. I don't like it any more than the rest of you (unless you are a masochist; then you might be enjoying it).

I do realize that most raccoon dogs are quite timid, but these guys were starving. I'd expect squirrels to come after me if they were starving. Think it's pointless to have them? It'll be a bit more clear as to why they were needed later. Truth be told, though, I did it mostly because I thought it would be entertaining for Drakken to have to get involved in a little scuffle. Anyway, hope someone out there liked my story. I'd appreciate some reviews just to have an idea if I'm doing an okay job or not.

I would like to once again give my thanks to Supreme Distraction for looking at the story and helping me to fix any problems that were present.


	3. Feelings and Flight

III. Feelings and Flight

Shego put the phone down on the small, glass table that was next to her chair and smiled. Oh yes, it was almost exactly as she had planned. Dr. D always was one to overreact in a dramatic fashion. He'd probably pace around the lair, muttering and complaining to himself, running his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. Maybe say a few mean things about her that he didn't mean. Drakken would likely try to go about working on a plan and fail miserably without her to point out the flaws which would be obvious to anyone but him. He'd either eventually realize the faults, try it and end up having to run, or try it and end up in jail, but no matter what, he'd have to call her. She'd complain and hang up, he'd call more, and then she'd eventually show up if he promised more vacation days or a raise in her salary.

That's how it would normally go.

But this time she would demand something else. This time, she would demand a free meal at the restaurant of her choice. She would demand that he come and use the excuse that she was making sure that he was going to pay and badger him a bit to get him to start talking about things other than his messed up childhood or his next 'take over the world' plot. It got SO boring and she was honestly curious about the other things about him. Although she probably knew him better than nearly anyone, she wanted to know more about him. How he went from her lame-o boss with a bad haircut and zero common sense to…actually, he was the exact same. He hadn't changed at all. But how she felt about him had. It was very sappy and she hated the thoughts that were in her head, but she couldn't stop thinking them.

When the jumbo green bean aliens had taken him, all she could think about was getting him back. She had actually worried about him. HER! Shego, the unsympathetic, sarcastic, master-thief that was the common sense and talent of the pair. He would probably have turned himself into a fly or something weird like that if she wasn't there to tell him when he was being stupid. He was naïve, stubborn, ugly, dismissive, foolhardy, cowardly, dedicated, optimistic, creative, nice bodied, car-WHOA! What in the…? How did her thoughts start on that train? Unfortunately, that's how it'd been going since she'd almost lost him to that warmongering giant the first time. She had been secure in her job before, no worries, so she hadn't cared when he was stuck in jail. Her job would still be there when he got out. He couldn't replace her. Until he did. And it was someone better than her. It had stung for some reason. It hurt every time she thought about it. Did Drakken think about how she would react to being replaced? Did he even care? It made her wonder what life would be like without him. That meant change, and she didn't like change. So she fought tooth-and-nail to get him back.

Then that joke Frugal Lucre took her place as Drakken's second-in-command (seriously, how did THAT happen?). That time, she had gotten so upset that when someone else paid more attention to her and Drakken had blamed the mission failing on her, she had stormed off and decided to give her attention to that Smarty guy. Boy, that was a case of temporary insanity if she'd ever seen one. Lucky for her that the kid had shown up when he did. That was when she had really started to take a good look at her…feelings…for Drakken. She definitely cared more than an employee. She knew it was friendship. She thought it was _just_ friendship. Then the whole 'revenge!' plan that the BGMs had come up with went into motion and Drakken was gone.

Just like that.

And she couldn't stand it.

So she went to find Miss. Priss and get her help in taking the fight to them. Some random destruction and a rocket jacking later, she was on the alien spaceship. When she saw Dr. D running down the hallway toward her, the relief she felt was so great that she was almost ready to collapse on the floor. But then Drakken yelled her name and opened his arms and, although she kept her tongue in check, she spread her arms wide to grab him. Dr. D had managed to get a grip on himself when they were a foot from each other and came up with a decent cover. They pulled themselves together and, after hitting the off switch (she's certain that all of the people in charge must be absolutely clueless about why it's a bad idea to have things like that), those muscle-bound giants had to go and assume. They assumed something irrational; she and Dr. D together. As a couple. How crazy _were_ they? After a bit of arguing (and she _SO_ wanted to give Princess a fist to the kisser), they managed to get out of there and put together a plan. She was quite surprised. Drakken actually put together a good plan. The plant vine thing was a little weird to hear about, but they were their ticket to taking down the Lorwardians so she didn't complain. Much.

She probably would have just left it alone and gone back to her oh-so-wonderful job of trying and failing to take over the world if the ceremony hadn't happened. She was very surprised and a bit embarrassed when the vine reached out and began wrapping itself around her. She was even more embarrassed when it wrapped her around Drakken. Shego did manage to pull off a kind-of smile as she looked at the crowd. Then she looked at him. He was obviously surprised, a bit nervous, kind of happy, but not embarrassed. How could that be? Drakken was a big, BIG fan of personal space (he _loved_ his personal bubble and reminded those who entered its borders about it), so to have it completely shredded like his feather pillow in Commodore Puddles' maw was something that would have set him off. But he just stood there, giving off a nervous smile. Then it hit her. Drakken _liked_ her. Everything seemed to make more sense after that. Who knew how long he'd been crushing? Heck, the Diablos could have been some attempt to impress her! Poor clod.

Now she had her plan of attack. Keeping things on her terms was something that she was set on doing. As such, she had to show him who was still the boss, even if he was the one that paid her. Also, this would help to deflate what she was certain had become an ego the size of a Greatweek blimp. He may have saved the world, but that doesn't put them any closer to conquering it. If anything, it wasted their time and resources, not to mention the lairs that had been trashed. Shego stretched a bit on the chair and sighed, looking into the bright blue sky. By now, the plant potion should have worn off and he would be back to his regular old 'genius' self. Yes, they'd have a lot to do later, but for now she was going to relax in the sun and wait for her plan to work. He wouldn't fire her. Not now. He would be ringing her within a day begging for her to come back. She would probably refuse for a couple of weeks before giving in to his pleas. Probably.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Doctor Drakken just kept staring at the phone in stunned disbelief. Had she really said that? "_Away from you._" It kept ringing in his head. It…hurt. It had stopped his tendrils' rampage in their spots, some of them still holding random pieces of laboratory equipment. Was she really that freaked out by him that she had to have even more time away? What had happened at the ceremony must have upset her more than he thought. Then it finally registered. She had said 42 days of vacation. That was more than a month. He would be stuck there, alone, for an entire month. All of his henchmen had quit during the whole Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes plot. Shego was gone on vacation. Perhaps he threw those raccoon dogs out too quickly…

This was going to be quite the problem. The vines dropped what they had and curled up behind him as he put his hands behind his back and started pacing. Pacing helped his thought process and he needed a solution to this, and fast. He could barely stand one day alone, let alone over a month. What to do, what to do...he thought about cloning someone, then remembered about the conversation that he and Shego had a few years back on the topic. If she found out, he would most definitely be alone for good. Synthodrones? Nah, not enough personality. Where was a genius plan when you needed one?

Drakken was suddenly overcome by a dizzy spell. His vines helped to steady him, but he realized that he wouldn't be able to stay awake for much longer. It was very early in the morning (he somehow never suffered from jet lag; in fact, he found it odd that other people did) and he was still incredibly hungry. He would have to go to sleep and then go shopping for food later before he could do anything else. While trudging his way to his room, he noticed a foul odor. Not wanting to deal with it at the moment, he ignored it and continued down the hallway. Drakken entered the security code for his room and the metal doors slid open to reveal a room oddly similar to the one at his Caribbean lair. The only difference was that his bed had dark blue sheets instead of red ones. He collapsed on his bed, stirring the layer of dust that had settled there, with his tendrils laying every which way, too tired to put on pajamas or to call his plants back, and fell into a troubled sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Seventeen hours. It would be at least seventeen hours before he would be safely away from anyone that he cared about. After Ron had gotten home, he had ran to his room and packed. He only packed what he needed. A few changes of clothes, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and Rufus. Rufus had stayed at home so that he and Kim could have their alone time, so he was a bit confused as to why Ron was so upset. Ron explained to him as he stuffed his Snowman Hank pajamas into his bag. Rufus knew about the problems that Ron was having with his MMP, which is why Rufus made sure to keep Ron from holding him out of fear for what would happen to Ron if the worst were to happen. Ron used his cell phone to call up Wade as he zipped up his bag. He didn't use a computer or anything like that so that Wade wouldn't see the blotchy and puffy eyes, the redness of his cheeks, or the tears that had stained his face.

"Hey, Ron. How was your date with Kim?" Wade said into his microphone. He was eating a bag of chips while watching his favorite science fiction show, Space Passage.

"It was…good…hehe…" Ron stuttered. He was afraid if Wade knew about him breaking up with Kim, then he would get curious and find out about his problem. If everyone found out, he might be labeled a danger to society and locked up for who knows how long or worse, everyone would try to help him and end up getting hurt. "Listen, Wade, I need a favor."

"Sure. What do you need?"

"I have to get to Yamanouchi earlier than I thought I would. Any chance that I could get a ride from someone right now?" Ron asked while scratching the back of his neck. Rufus echoed Ron's sentiment by going, "Yup, ride."

"Just a sec, Ron. I'll check, but it's a bit short notice," Wade replied as he typed furiously on his computer. After about a minute of typing, Wade finally stopped and sighed. "Sorry, Ron, but the best I can do is to get you a ride to Tokyo. Is that okay?"

"Yes, Wade, it's just fine. Just tell me where to go and I'm gone," Ron said quickly. He had grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper and was writing a letter for his parents, who had already gone to sleep.

"Uh, Ron, why do you need to go so early? Weren't you going to be leaving in a few days anyway?" Wade asked with hesitation. He didn't like to pry, but it seemed odd that he was leaving in the middle of the night without Kim. He also detected the shaky tone of Ron's voice, like he was a bit emotional about something.

"Oh. Well, uh…um…I…uh…promised Yori that I was gonna…uh…ah…train…yes! I had promised Yori that I was going to help her train!" Ron said triumphantly, happy that he had managed to think of something. "After all, I did manage to use my super kick-butt monkey mojo to take down those aliens. She wants me to get there so I can give her some lessons."

"Ron, are you okay? You sound a bit funny," Wade said.

"Yeah! I'm just great! Super! Couldn't be better! How could I not be? I'm a hero, I'm a super-powered fighter, I have a bone-diggity-" Ron cut himself off, realizing that what he was going to say would be false. He didn't have a bone-diggity girlfriend anymore. He had dumped her. Suddenly, the good feeling that he had gotten earlier soured and left him feeling a bit empty, sad, and very, very alone.

"Ron? Are you there? You just cut out. Ron? Are you-"

"Yes, Wade, I'm fine," Ron said in a much more subdued tone. "Just…just get my ride here. Please."

Wade was a bit taken aback at the odd change in Ron's tone. The pausing in Ron's explanation made Wade think that Ron wasn't being 100 truthful. That was something he would have to ask Kim about later. For now, though, Ron was asking for help in getting to Japan, so that's what Wade was going to do. He wasn't just Kim's friend, after all.

"Just go to the airport. There should be a plane there waiting to take you to Tokyo. Hope you have a safe trip," Wade said sincerely.

"Thanks, Wade. I owe you one, big time," Ron replied just as sincerely. "Good bye." Ron hung up the phone and gave a deep, pained sigh. Rufus jumped off of Ron's desk and climbed up to Ron's shoulder to try to give him some encouragement. Ron turned his head toward his longtime pet and friend and let a few tears drop. Rufus patted the side of Ron's head and kept repeating, "It's okay," over and over, hoping to calm the boy down.

Ron gave a few nervous giggles and wiped at his tears. "You know, Rufus, it's kinda funny when you think about it. All my life, I've always played second fiddle to Kim. She has always been so amazing at everything she does. When we got together at prom, I was afraid…I've always been afraid…of not being good enough. Now, I've finally stepped up to the plate, with the whole MMP thing. No one would be able to beat me. Heck, I took down a couple of E.T.s that took Kim and Shego out in one hit! And now…I'm…I'm…dangerous. To everyone. I can't be with her. I'm finally good enough and we can't be together." Ron began crying in earnest now, trying to stifle his sniffling so as to not wake his parents or his sister. Rufus jumped off of Ron and fetched a tissue, which Ron accepted gratefully. "Oh, Rufus, I'm so glad to have you. I don't know what I would do… This…it's not what I wanted!" Ron suddenly said with a sharp, angry tone. He began to rub his eyes furiously with the tissue. Rufus made loud, squeaking noises that made Ron stop what he was doing and look at him. The little pink mole rat was pointing at Ron's hands and jumping up and down. Ron glanced at his hands and realized, with horror, that they were glowing a familiar blue color. Ron fell to his knees and hugged himself.

"Big brother?" a little voice said next to his head. '_Oh no, please, oh no_,' Ron thought fearfully before he lifted his head and opened his eyes. He met the gaze of his little sister, Hana Stoppable. She looked a little upset and very confused, with a hand reaching out to touch her big brother. Ron scooted away from her until he was out of her reach and stood up. She crawled closer to him, but he continued to back off. He eventually jumped over his bed, which Hana had crawled around to get to him, and grabbed his bag. Ron ran out of his room with Rufus hot on his heels. As he dashed out the front door, he heard the crying of a baby start up. Ron stopped long enough for Rufus to get into his pocket and then kept running until he was at the airport, where he collapsed onto a bench. A plane was landing, likely the one that he was getting the favor from, and there were a few people milling around waiting to board other flights. Ron gripped the edge of the bench in apprehension of what was to come and heard metal groaning. He looked down and realized that, once again, his Mystical Monkey Powers had activated themselves without his knowledge; the edges which he had been gripping looked as if they had been manhandled by Pain King.

"What did I do to deserve this?! Oh…" Ron began sobbing, his entire body shaking with every sob. He thought and he thought, but he just couldn't figure out why this was happening. He was a good person. Maybe it was a case of too much of a good thing? He had always wanted to be able to, for once, save Kim. Be the hero. But now…it wasn't worth it. It really, really wasn't worth it. He needed to get a grip on his powers for everyone's sake. Then he could be reunited with his friends, his parents, and Kim. If Kim would take him back, that is. The very thought of it and the memory of him encouraging her to date other people caused him to have another wave of tearful weeping. "Someday, KP. Someday, we'll be together again. Until then, I can only help protect you."

* * *

Author's Notes:

My, oh my. I guess I'm one of the masochists that I mentioned last chapter. Don't worry, I plan on lightening up in a couple of chapters. I like the whole 'great power, great responsibility' thought on being a hero, and it just didn't seem fair for Ron to just be like 'boom, I'm the master!' with his MMP. Even Superman had to practice with his powers.

I apologize for the long wait. There was a minor detail that I was hung up on and I didn't want to put the chapter up and have several people e-mail me about how I described something incorrectly. Hopefully, the next one will be finished much faster.

Thanks again to Supreme Distraction for being my beta. Don't know if I'd even have any titles without her help. Also, thanks to CajunBear73 for reviewing. I do like to know if I'm doing a decent job with the characters and story.


	4. The Incredible Disappearing Lawyer

IV. The Incredible Disappearing Lawyer

Drakken woke up a few hours later with a splitting headache. He felt like he was starving to death. When was the last time he had eaten? It had been yesterday morning. But it felt like it had been several days. How could his body be using so much energy? Stupid metabolism!

Where was he? The mad doctor slowly got to his feet and took a glance at the sheets. Dark blue. Which lair had the dark blue sheets? Each lair had their own color for when he worked himself too hard and woke up disoriented, to keep himself from getting confused. He couldn't remember; he needed to ingest something before he could think. Powered by the desire to eat, he went to the hover car as quickly as his weakened body could go and flew out of the hanger. Once outside, he remembered he was in his mountain lair that he used for the Little Diablo plot, though he couldn't remember why.

He piloted it to the nearest market that he could think of (and that meant that he just kind of wandered around until he found some sort of convenience store and a few restaurants) and bought out everything he could fit into his hover car, and then some. A large bowl of ramen disappeared down Drakken's throat, which was followed by several boxes of pocky, half a dozen boats of takoyaki, a couple of ebi korokke, and half a dozen onigiri, with all of it chased down by seven bottles of Ramune. The shopkeepers all just stared in awe at all of the food that Drakken had eaten and bought.

"Ahhh. _That's_ more like it. Deeeeelish! I'll have to come back here some time," Drakken sighed contently as he walked out of a noodle shop. His headache had disappeared along with a decent chunk of his yen. '_Lucky for me I thought ahead_,' Drakken thought, smiling to himself. All he had to do was transfer some of his funds from his American stash to some of his other hidden accounts around the world and he would be set for the next few years. Good thing he'd thought up this plan while he was stuck with Dementor. In fact, Dementor gave him the idea. One of the few intelligent things chrome dome had come up with.

Drakken set the hover car to go back to the lair at a leisurely pace so as to give him some time to think some more about what to do with his month alone. He leaned back in his seat and lifted his feet up to sit them on the control panel. What had he gone through already? Clones were a big no, as were synthodrones. New henchmen might not be a bad idea. Ever since they had left him during that cupcake fiasco, Drakken had been a bit wary of hiring some new help. However, if there were to ever be a time for them, now would be it. They would at least occupy him while he waited for Shego to finish her vacation.

Another option that he had would be to beg Shego to come back. She would almost certainly demand something in return (most likely a raise), but she would eventually cave in. But this time, he would only do that as a last resort. Shego was obviously still upset over what his plants had done during the UN ceremony, so it would be best to let her have as much time alone as possible. There was always the unsettling chance that she might not come back.

"No," Drakken said aloud, shaking his head and lightly slapping himself on the cheek. "Don't think like that. She's your friend. She likes you. Right? I mean, she _did_ come for you when the Lorwardians captured you." He stopped for a second, and then hung his head down. "Who am I kidding? Shego's just probably looking for a saved-your-life bonus. Remember on the alien ship?"

_-:-:-:Flashback:-:-:-_

"_You buffoon! __**That's**__ not how you work it!" Drakken yelled at the teenage boy as the blue scientist tore the flower petals off of his own neck._

"_Wait! I was doing it before. How did it go again?" the hero's sidekick muttered as he messed with his space suit. "I think I got it!" He pushed a button on the wrist and the suit instantly inflated. "Oops. I don't got it."_

_The Lorwardians had just run into the hallway a few seconds ago. While Kim and Shego were distracting them, the idiot sidekick and Drakken had decided to try to go with a quick escape via jetpack. However, neither of them could figure out how to get the jetpack to work. Even though they were out of eyesight, Drakken could still hear everything the aliens and the girls were saying. And listening to them was better than listening to the buffoon proving that he lacked a brain._

"_So you must be Mr. Warmonga," Shego had smugly replied to the giant warriors. Of course, Shego didn't sound worried. She could probably hold her own if it turned into a fist fight. Drakken leaned his body so that he could see them talking._

"_She is the blue imposter's battlemate," Warmonga had said to her own battlemate, leaning toward him and holding her hand up to direct her voice. However, considering the fact that they were loud and gigantic, her voice still managed to carry down the hall. At hearing that, Drakken felt an acute wave of embarrassment go through him. The flower petals sprouted from his neck again and he began to tear them off. The second he tore one away, though, another one grew in its place. Drakken grunted in frustration, but it did not prevent him from hearing Shego's response._

"_Whoa! Time out! Yeah, the two teens are a thing, but there is __**nothing**__ going on with me and Doctor D."_

"_Nothing?" Kim had replied in a mocking tone._

"_**NOTHING**__!" Shego yelled into the face of her rival. This caught Drakken's attention and made him stop tearing at the petals. There were enough, however, to litter most of the floor of the ship's hallway. She sounded angry. Well, she was usually angry, but there was a lot of anger. Like it was offensive to even think like that._

"_I got iiiaaaaaugh!" the idiot began yelling as his jetpack went out of control. He flew up and hit the ceiling, beginning a pinball effect where he bounced around the hallway and stirring the scattered flower petals, screaming all the way. Drakken managed to grab onto the top of the pack as the sidekick bounced by. The added weight caused the path of the jetpack to straighten out and head straight for the Lorwardians…_

_-:-:-:End Flashback:-:-:-_

Drakken hadn't had time to think about it then, but now it wounded his ego. Even Shego, the closest thing he had to…well, anything, really, couldn't picture them together as a couple…not that Drakken was even thinking like that. Because it was unthinkable, really. Yes, it was.

"Yeah. She's just in it for the money. Well, at least now I have plenty of it," Drakken continued to talk to himself. As he said the last sentence, he lifted his hand up and closed it into a fist. "Now we have the resources to pull off the bigger plots again. Soon, the world will once again know the wrath of Dr. Drakken! HAHAH-ack!" Drakken began to laugh maniacally at the thought of ruling the world. However, he was cut off when he got hit in the face by a Japanese sparrowhawk that was not watching where it was going.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Kim was absolutely devastated. She had just broken up with her best friend boyfriend a few hours ago. No, _he_ had broken up with _her_, she corrected herself. A few minutes had to be spent after Ron had jumped out and run away into his house to calm down. Kim wasn't able to see through the tears to drive.

What had she done to warrant such a reaction from Ron? The sadness eventually gave way to a cold emptiness that settled into her very soul. Her Ron…her life, her world…had left her. Her daily source of Ronshine, warm, bright, and always there, was gone. She felt like a plant deprived of the sun, slowly dying. He didn't even seem able to touch her anymore. She drove away slowly, hoping that he might suddenly change his mind and run back out, arms wide open to carry her sorrow away. But it wasn't meant to be.

The hanging, lifeless shell of who had been Kim Possible exited her car and entered her house. The girl didn't react when her dad asked how her date went. She did nothing when her mom announced the fact that it was family game night. It didn't even bother her when tweebs shot rockets at her. Her insipid march continued, heedless of the questions that came from her family members. Kim got to her room and collapsed on her bed, feeling too empty to do anything else. She wasn't able to talk to her worried parents when they came to ask what was wrong or stop the tweebs from raiding her room and making a mess of everything. She couldn't even bring herself to answer her Kimmunicator when it beeped an hour later.

Kim Possible felt the most alone now than she had ever felt her entire life. The one constant that existed alongside her, the rock that she leaned against for support, was gone. How could she survive without her Ron? She just continued to stare at the ceiling, not caring about anything except for her love that had left her cold and alone.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

DNAmy wiped her brow as she finished inspecting her newly upgraded genetic zipper. It had taken her a few months to finish, but she had finally gotten the modifications calculated and added to her device. She danced over to one of the pods, which held the love of her life in its metallic shell.

"Oh, Monty-kins, you'll be free soon enough! Don't worry, I'm here for you," she cooed to the stone statue, which had somehow gotten an even more fearful expression on its face. "It shouldn't be too long before your new body arrives. I had to make some modifications to account for those powers that the mean old monkey used on you, but now I just need you-" she pulls out a baggie full of what looks like fur and dumped it all over Monkey Fist "-a sample of your original DNA-" and, as if by some odd bit of timing, her doorbell rings "-and a compatible body. It wasn't easy, but after some searching, I managed to find someone. Now let me go get him!"

Amy skipped merrily up the stairs, humming a sickeningly sweet tune as she turned the light off in the basement. She strolled to the front door of her large house and opened it. On the stoop stood a slightly muscular man dressed in a business suit carrying a leather suitcase. He had reddish brown hair and a winning smile.

"Ms. Hall? Hi, I'm Hank Perkins. The insurance company sent me down to take a look at the machine you wanted to insure."

"Oh, yes, of course, sugar booger," she responded, pinching his cheek while half-dragging him into her home. "It's in the basement. Would you care for a gingersnap?" She pointed at her table, which held a plate of cookies.

"No thank you, ma'am. Not right now. Maybe after I finish assessing the…what's it called?"

"It's my genetic zipper, hunny bunny," she said as she showed him the door to her basement. He gave a confident smile back and somehow managed to make it down the dark stairwell without falling.

"Ms. Hall, I would appreciate it if we could finish our business quickly. I do have other clients to attend to."

"Oh, of course," Amy replied, turning the lights on as she directed him toward the empty pod. "It's right here. I'm sure you'll find it to be worth every penny that I'm insuring it for." Hank leaned in to look at the machine's innards, but didn't step in.

"So what makes this machine so special that you would need to insure it for so much? A one million dollar policy has a large monthly payment. I'm just checking to make sure that-"

"I'm not getting a policy."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not planning on getting a policy, my darling," Amy repeated, stepping behind Hank the insurance salesman.

"Then why-"

WHAM

"Whoa-OUCH!" Hank Perkins was shoved into the pod, falling onto his knees and sliding to the back, his arms flapping in front of him in a failed attempt to keep himself from falling. Amy walked over to the controls for the machine, giggling all the way.

"Now my little Monty-wonty will come back to me! HAHAHA!" DNAmy started to cackle in glee, slamming her fist down onto the big, red button in the middle of the controls. The doors for the pod shut as Hank tried to scramble for the opening.

The last thing the man known as Hank Perkins managed to yell as the machine was activated was, "…oh, snap."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I despise dialogue. Even more, I despise the Kim in this story. Heck, I probably wouldn't even have this much done if it weren't for Samurai Crunchbird, who gave me the idea on presenting Kim like this. It actually works better than what I was trying for. It's still a poor bit of writing (and poking some fun at a couple of writers that I like), but it's better than nothing. Right? Yeah…that's a good justi- er, excu- er…oh, forget it.

As for the bit with Hank? Thank Captain IT. He came up with his final words. I'm just not clever enough.

I do call dibs on all of Drakken's part. So go ahead and pull out the flamethrowers for that. What am I saying? Fire away at the entire thing. I might as well change the setting to 'angst' instead of 'humor'. I may find this to be funny, but I'm certain that the rest of you can't see the humor in it.

I really do want to get to the funny stuff. It should be there now that I have Kim out of the way for a while. I should also put out a few more chapters a bit faster than this one. I just have trouble with Kim. Yes, almost a two month wait for this does seem to be a bit of a gyp, but it's better than nothing. I'm trying to stop my habit of writing stories just to delete them.

One more note. It's been brought to my attention that most people have no idea what any of what Drakken ate was. So I'll just write a little list with the description.

ramen- quick-cooking egg noodles usually served in a broth with bits of meat and vegetables (from Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary; I eat some regularly, though I forgo the flavoring packets)

pocky- long, thin wheat sticks dipped in a flavored topping, such as chocolate or strawberry (Drakken was eating chocolate, which I have also eaten)

takoyaki- a dumpling made in a special pan; ingredients include octopus (otherwise, why call it takoyaki?), a batter of some sort, pickled ginger, leeks, tenkasu (deep fried, crunchy chunks of flour-dough), and konnyaku (made from a plant called the konjac which is used for its texture) and is topped with green laver (edible green seaweed), mayonnaise, or other sauces; as fast food, it is usually sold by street vendors (I wish i could have some, but they aren't sold in my area of the world)

ebi korokke- usually shaped like a flat patty, it can be sold in paper wrappings by street vendors; seafood mixed with potatoes and rolled in eggs, breadcrumbs, and wheat-flour, then deep fried until brown (I want to get my hands on some beef korokke, which just replaces the seafood with beef)

onigiri- a rice ball which is usually wrapped in seaweed; can also be in a triangular shape (I would probably die of happiness if I actually managed to get my hands on one of these)

Ramune- a brand of soft drink in Japan known for its oddly-shaped bottle; hard for first-timers to drink due to the problem with the marble (I think that Drakken would have just broken the top of it off if he got too frustrated, though; I've tried it before and didn't have trouble with the marble, though I didn't really care for the lemon-lime-ish taste)

Agh! Spelling error! It's ebi korokke, not edi korokke. Sorry about that! No, please, not the sticks!


End file.
